“There’s nothing more whole than a broken heart.”

Rabbi Ari Israel’s sentiment exemplified the tone of the Oct. 7 vigil held at Maryland Hillel on Monday, commemorating the one-year anniversary of Hamas’ terror attack. Speakers expressed an array of emotion, balancing the frustration of international backlash at the ongoing war in Israel and Gaza, the sadness when reminiscing on the brutal attack and the hope held for the future of the Jewish community.

“I’m frustrated that I have not been able to grieve or truly process what’s happening in Israel and around the world because all my time is spent arguing for a right to exist.”

Emma Steinhause, the vice president of the Jewish Student Union at this university, spoke with a mix of sadness and frustration about being a student leader during this war. “We’ve all been forced to grow up quickly,” Steinhause said. 

In the past year, Jewish student leaders spent countless hours in administrative meetings, planning events and combatting antisemitism on campus. With all of these taxing roles, they have hardly had time for themselves.

Many students still reel in pain from the initial shock of the attack, while also balancing the current fight for the Jewish people, especially the 101 hostages who remain in Gaza.

“It’s slightly easier to wake up in the morning than it was 12 months ago.”

For senior Jesse Artz, the initial shock of Oct. 7 hasn’t entirely worn off. Artz expressed the despair that he’s endured over the past year, feeling shocked by blatant antisemitism and hopeful from the reaction of the global Jewish community. 

“It’s great that the international community has not forgotten about the hostages,” Artz said. “They’ve worked tirelessly for a whole year now to keep them in our memory.”

Some students feel the absence of the hostages deeply.

“What can we do to leave our mark? How can we positively impact others the way Hersh did throughout his life?” 

Senior Eytan Pomper is first cousins with Hersh Goldberg-Polin, who was taken hostage on Oct. 7, 2023 from the Supernova music festival and murdered on Aug. 31.

Hersh advocated for peace, having worked on a soccer league for Israeli and Palestinian children. With the vigil being held in the days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, Pomper encouraged everyone in the audience to reflect on how individuals and the wider community can better themselves.

Words of encouragement toward the Jewish community in their fight against antisemitism came from spiritual leaders and political allies alike. 

“You do not walk alone.”

U.S. Rep. Steny Hoyer spoke at the vigil, expressing his alliance with the Jewish people and unwavering support for the state of Israel. Hoyer cited his many trips to Israel, having been to the Gaza-border communities that were attacked on Oct. 7. Hoyer emboldened students to stand up for themselves and their homeland. 

“When they threaten you, they threaten me. You heard about it in Germany, it’s true about it here and everywhere. Where hate rises and metastasizes, we all lose. We are all at risk,” Hoyer said, referring to Iran and its proxies.

Other leaders urged students to focus on bridge-building and humanization of those with disagreeing viewpoints.

“Instead of calling for divestment and anti-normalization, let’s invest in understanding one another. To truly be your own identity instead of trying to pull mine down. To not see students here as oppressors, but as fellow students and human beings.”

Rabbi Israel told the story of a young girl in Gaza who was killed in an Israeli airstrike. He brought empathy to the table, persuading students to minimize the finger-pointing protests and expand on human connection.

“Today was a broken day last year, today will be a broken day next year.”

Rabbi Israel’s heart wrenching remarks served as a reminder to the community that the pain of Oct. 7 does not go away. While the initial shock might have worn off, the remaining anguish is a pain that Jews will carry with them for a lifetime. Rabbi Israel left students with a bittersweet message, that the heartbreak of the attack and the subsequent fight to exist can only make students stronger.

“[A broken heart] is not the same when you put it back together…when you take those individual pieces and hold them next to one another, it is those gaps, those moments of human interaction that fill the void with love and light.”