Throughout this week’s Parsha, Avraham is challenged with many unknown obstacles and people he must contend with. First, he is told to leave with no idea where to go; he then finds that the place he originally went to has been overtaken by famine and must leave. While trying to find somewhere to go, he is forced to conceal his marital status to save himself, only for his wife to be taken from him anyway. His only remaining relative then leaves because of a lack of space and a rift between their workers. Yet, right after, Avraham is forced to step in and save the relative who just abandoned him and takes nothing in return. Avraham then laments his lack of offspring and appears to be promised many descendants only because of the kindness shown through his aforementioned rescue. Nonetheless, he is told that these offspring would be slaves in a land not theirs for 400 years before finally returning.
Even after all this, his wife remains barren and tells him to take on a maidservant to have children with instead, an obviously non-optimal solution. Even worse, there is a rift between his wife and maidservant, causing the maidservant to leave. Ironically, it is the maidservant who is blessed with seemingly the same blessing as Avraham, while Avraham’s wife is left out of the equation.
The cherry on top is that Avraham is finally told to change his name and cut off part of his body while now being reassured of the promise that seems to be going in a direction that would require him to copulate with a maidservant instead of his wife. Eventually, he is promised a child from his wife, but only once he is 100 years old and his wife 90, making it a seeming impossibility.
In this story, Avraham has every right to be depressed and isolated. He starts stable, with relatives around him, a healthy marriage, and a comfortable life. By the end, he has cut ties with everyone around him and must choose between the apparent impossibility of his wife giving birth at such an old age or a maid with whom he already has a child. He is living in a completely new land, has no relatives around him, and has mutilated himself. This seems to be the fall-off of fall-offs. Any normal person would be severely depressed in this situation, yet Avraham rarely complains. In fact, the only time we find him upset or aggravated is at the end about his wife’s age. So what causes Avraham to be so okay?
The key lies in the details between each story. In each circumstance, G-d tells Avraham explicitly that something will work out for him. G-d explains that Avraham’s children will inherit the land he is in no matter what happens. Even when the promises themselves seem to have negative connotations, Avraham takes it on the chin. Why? Because G-d has said so, so there’s no use in arguing. More importantly, if G-d is just, how could this, at the end of the day, be a bad thing, even if from the current perspective it seems so? It is only once Avraham despairs that G-d adds more details on how this will come to be.
This whole arc captures the true sense of how to deal with existentialism. Avraham has no control over anything that happens in these stories. He is forced to run around like a headless chicken and contend with many issues he encounters beyond his control. For anyone else, this is the worst type of existence. Yet Avraham remains calm due to his
faith in G-d. He continues on no matter what because, no matter how bad things turn, G-d wants it. He knows the master plan has him inheriting the land and having many children. What G-d wants will happen, so what does it matter if he is a little uncomfortable now?
A similar pattern occurs in his relationships with people. Avraham leaves his relatives, isolates himself from the people of Egypt, pushes away Lot, and refuses to interact with the countries he saved. The straw that breaks the camel’s back is that even his relationship with his wife degrades after a maidservant replaces her. Avraham’s whole arc symbolizes isolation and leaves him as a fundamentally lonely person. Yet, Avraham remains calm because he knows he has G-d. The isolation disappears because he understands that, no matter how alone he may feel, G-d is always with him. In fact, this affects his relationships with those around him positively. Normally, when someone leaves one’s life under unideal circumstances, the response is one of disdain or dislike. However, Avraham refers to Lot, his nephew, as his brother when saving him after the separation. He advances their relationship, displaying his contentment with having G-d as his companion.
This is a perfect Parsha to come out at this time of the year. Many are starting to feel the winter blues, a lack of control over what their internship or job offers may look like going forward, depression at the difficulty of their classes, and deep insecurity about themselves and their personal futures. Even if they deal with these difficulties at the moment, they can’t stop them from coming back or being replaced by other insecurities. This Parsha offers the answer: belief and contentment in G-d are the only things one can do. There’s really nothing one can do about these insecurities but try to solve them and know that G-d is there by your side.
